Measurement Day/Hydroxycut

OK! I feel like I'm getting a new start. At the beginning of this month, I OFFICIALLY measured my:

-Belly
-Hips
-Arms
-Thighs
-Calves

And I weighed myself.

Mr. Scale, I want a rematch

And a rematch we will have!

MAY 1, 2013 is the next "weigh-in" day.

I'm not gonna lie. If I have made no progress this month, I will be needing some serious help getting back on the wagon. So far this month I've been trying extra hard to eat well, and get out and exercise at LEAST 3x a week. Last week I got 4 days, and this week I haven't gotten any (yet).

The weather has not been welcoming here

Yeah, this week I have forgotten to work out, the rain has been pretty bad, and yesterday I was feeling really not good.

On a similar note: I am trying a more intense "dieting" regime. I had been having such a hard time about eating. I felt like I was hungry CONSTANTLY. I would only eat until I was full, and then, I swear, I would be hungry in like an hour. So I started eating small snacks every hour and a half. But how small is a small snack?

This is small, right?

 I didn't want to be eating all the time. I was getting frustrated.

SO

I have a cousin who lost a bunch of weight a few years ago. I asked what her secret was, and she said she used Hydroxycut. After a lot of consideration, I went out and bought a bottle. Turns out, it's pretty much a caffeine pill. 

These pills will make you HARDCORE! AND ELITE!!! WE DON'T KNOW HOW!!!

Probably with jitters.

Each pill has about as much caffeine as 3 cups of coffee. (Coffee has108mg of caffeine per 8 fl. oz.). Then you're supposed to take 2 pills 30 mins before every meal. 

(1 pill = 3 cups of coffee. 2 pills x 3 meals = 18 CUPS OF COFFEE A DAY). 

I think my heart just stopped

Yeah. It's a lot.

You don't just start with that (you would probably throw up). One is supposed to gradually work your way to that. The first two days you only take one pill with your two biggest meals. The next two you take 2 with each big meal, and so on.

I think it's interesting that diet pills only work with proper diet and exercise. Ideally, ALL diets would work with proper diet and exercise.

But I am not doing this to medicate my fat away, I just want a little help not feeling hungry, There's no way I actually am hungry, but I feel it in my gut. It's weird.

I know a lot of people are really against taking pills like this, but I am still eating 1500 cals a day (I absolutely make sure of it!) and exercising. I'm working on making good eating decisions too.

BUT

There is a positive thing about the caffeine: It has made my mood so much better! As a student, I have school at around 8AM, and as a theater student, I have rehearsal until 10PM. I do not usually get to go home and do nothing. Then when I finally get home I usually have 2-5 hours of homework. Admittedly, I don't always DO my homework, but even by 6:30PM (when my rehearsal starts) I'm usually tired, and ready to be done with the day.

Not to mention MAD grumpy.

I have been struggling with being in a bad mood, and feeling negative all year, and recently, I've felt a pick-me-up. People who had been getting under my skin, all of a sudden, weren't bothering me very much anymore. That might seem like not a big thing, but I had "I-hate-people" tunnel vision. I felt like my whole life was consumed with just putting up with stupid people.

NOW

Bliss

Do I know I'm probably getting addicted to caffeine? Yes. Do I realize I might not actually be happy, but I'm just getting a constant stimulus? YES. Do I care? Not really. I've been so miserable that a little stimulus is just what I needed. If caffeine makes people less annoying, bring on the addiction.

But in all seriousness, I will not buy another bottle of Hydroxycut. It was pretty expensive, it makes me feel a little jittery, and I just want a little jump start. If I get closer to my wedding and want to lose a few more pounds, I might pick up another bottle, but I don't want this to be my new lifestyle. I want healthy food and yoga and running and stuff like that. IF I need to keep the caffeine, I guess I'll have an afternoon coffee

Off the wagon... a lot

I'm going to say sorry right away, because this blog is not going to be funny. I'm in a bit of a rut, and I'm feeling down.

So the day was bound to come eventually, I have majorly fallen off the wagon.

This is me, but with cheese.

I've been feeling really discouraged lately, so I've been avoiding posting because I don't want to show off my failure. 

When someone falls off the wagon, you should get up and try to chase it down again, right?

I didn't do that.

I kind of just sat there and tried to convince myself that I was still on the wagon. I visualized myself on it. I could feel the red metal under my legs (oh yeah, I could FEEL that red...)

After shaking off the denial, I kind of was just waiting for a new wagon to come and pick me up: I wasn't going to go chase the old one down.

I suppose it's more than just the food thing. I wanted to exercise, but I was tired of falling on the ice, and I have a pretty full schedule. I'm a full time student and a theater major, so I don't have a lot of free time.

But no one has time anymore.

I used to go to a nutritionist a few years ago, because, let's face it, I've always been chubby. My inner fat kid tackled my inner skinny kid decades ago, and has been sitting on her chest ever since.

Anyway, my nutritionist said that you have to make working out a priority. Like, you're too busy exercising to do other things. Makes sense right?

Well, I can't really give specific examples of how I'm off the wagon-- I just consistently make unhealthy choices, and I feel like I don't know how to make good ones? Maybe?

I used to think it was this obvious.

I try to keep track of what I eat, and eat at the same times every day, and not get junk food, and not skip meals to avoid starving, then gorging myself at the end of the day. And I avoid fast food, and candy, etc. etc.

That being said, I'm poor. I can't afford to not have any processed food. I don't have a lot of free days to go grocery shopping, and when I do, I have to make sure I don't buy too much fruit and veggies because they'll go bad before I can eat them. 

Yum.

I have been avoiding buying my biggest weakness food of Pepper Jack Cheese

Ooo... You know that's how I like it.

Before I get anymore depressing, I'll just post this awesome Jenny Marbles video. It's called Junk Food Confessions, and it's basically my life.

I literally laughed out loud because I've probably done all of these things. Except buy 80 wings and eat them all. . .

Final thought: I promise I will be rid of my dead puppy syndrome for next time. I've just been working on this for a long time, but I've totally half-assed it, so I've literally had NO PROGRESS. You'd think with an ass as big as mine, even half-assing it would have some results.

PS! Something exciting! I made a Living Chubby Facebook page! I'm hoping to post more pictures and general chubby people things on there between blogs :). It's just called Living Chubby.

A Sunday Blog

It's Sunday! I know you all missed me, so I thought I'd throw in an extra blog!

Ok, actually, I'm behind. However, it's for a reason!

If you recall my last blog (or if you're a first time viewer, go back and catch up real quick. I'll wait. . . )

Ready slow poke?

If you recall my last blog, I said I would be reviewing a few diet books. So I did that. I started with:

"Cook Yourself Thin"

This is primarily a cook book, so I wanted to wait until I tried a recipe or two before posting.

So this "cook book" starts by asking what your food lifestyle currently is, and then it makes you take a quiz.

Too bad I didn't study

I scored "You're a comfort food craver"

Umm, totally ok with being guilty of that.

Then it tells you the "Main Offender" things that sneakily fill you up with empty calories:

Ninja calories

While most of the "Main Offenders" are things you might not know (like yogurt, and granola bars), at the top of the list is alcohol.

Say it with me now.

Any dieter worth their salt knows that booze has a ton of calories. That's why they don't put the Nutrition Info on the bottle.

Serving size: As many as it takes to get SMASHED!

Now I know some college kids who "party hard" as they call it, and don't count booze calories because they just throw them up again. Buuuuuuuut, I don't play like that.

I prefer to party softly

And before they get into any cooking, it provides a basic list of foods and tools that you should use to stock your kitchen.

Fork isn't on here AT ALL!

Once you get through all that, you can get on to the whole point of the book.

In summary, the book is call "Cook Yourself Thin" to go along the idea that if you want to be thin, you have to make it a lifestyle, therefore you should get used to cooking healthier foods. 

Well joke's on them! I don't cook anything, so EVERYTHING I COOK IS A HEALTHIER FOOD!

Win

Ok, so needless to say, I had to go out of my element a bit.

Don't get me wrong. I've made things before. Ramen. Noodles. Eggs. Ramen. Chicken. Ramen. You know, a variety.

Or at least a variety of salt colors

But this cook book meant business. I had to simmer things, find out what florets were, and cook things using a setting lower than "High" 

Despite the stakes at hand:

573 more days

I couldn't get this image out of my head:

It is a little intimidating

BUT I am super brave, and a little fool hardy (that's a fancy way of saying "I am prone to doing dumb things for the sake of being brave"), so I took the plunge, and went grocery shopping for ingredients.

These are real-life pictures of my fridge after shopping

As I said, I've never REALLY cooked, so I had to stock all my spices and stuff, and because I am poor, I went to Aldi, and they didn't have them all. But whatever.

I didn't get any of these...

BUT! I did make some really delicious food! I was proud. And, every recipe comes with a calorie count, so you have some sort of idea of how much you're eating.

So you remember way back when I started this blog and I said: ". . .  I will include recipes from time to time. . ." (Copy and pasted from first post)? Well here you are.

Here's what I made. I'll include what is actually in it, but because I don't want to be sued by the people who made the book, I won't include the whole cooking process. If you want to get the whole recipe, contact me via facebook, twitter, or leave a comment!

I started with something easy: Raspberry, Orange, and Banana Smoothie: 205 calories

It's pretty self explanatory what's in it, so I won't go into it. One thing: the Orange part is just orange juice. After making one, I didn't have enough raspberries, so I just started putting whatever I felt like in it.

Now for the vanilla extract! BWAHAHAHA!

This one is a Chubby Cake's adaption:

Strawberry-Banana, Raspberry, Orange Smoothie: 300 calories

Please ignore my dirty kitchen

Since it's my own concoction, I WILL tell you how it's made.

3/4 cup fresh raspberries

3/4 cup fresh, sliced strawberries

1 whole banana

1 cup OJ (from concentrate)

Blend for 30 seconds, or until smooth

Then, because I had a bunch of Blueberries, I made:

The Strawberry-Banana, Blueberry, Orange Smoothie: 305 calories

1 cup strawberries

1/2 cup blueberries

1 whole banana

1 cup OJ

Blend for blah blah blah.

For REAL food I made something called: South Western Turkey Burgers: 342 calories

Complete with looming shadow

Ingredients:

1 1/3 lbs Lean ground turkey

4 oz can diced green chiles, drained

1/4 teaspoon salt

1/4 teaspoon black pepper

2-3 spritzes canola oil in a mister

3 oz 50%-reduced-fat pepper-jack cheese (yum!) cut into 8 thin slices

4 whole wheat kaiser rolls

Romaine lettuce leaves

Tomato, sliced

Red onion, sliced

1/2 avocado, sliced

Except I didn't have the lettuce, tomato, or red onion... maybe I need a few more healthy things...

Last but not least, I made:

Penne alla "Not-Ka": 371 calories

I have nothing snarky to say about this one: it was just good

Ingredients:

2 tsp olive oil, plus extra for serving

3 cloves garlic

1/2 cup chopped red onion

3/4 tsp salt

14 oz can diced tomatoes, pureed in a food processor

Pinch red pepper flakes

8 oz penne

1/4 cup whipping cream 

6 tbls evaporated nonfat milk

1/3 cup grated parm cheese

1/4 cup shredded fresh basil

1/4 tsp black pepper

Whew! I think that makes up for missing Tuesday, don't you? Next I want to read: 

Drop 5 lbs: the small changes, BIG results diet

Idk if I'll have it read for next Tuesday, but I will write about something else then.

Thanks for reading! Please leave a comment, and keep your eyes open on Facebook, because I plan to have a Living Chubby page up in the very near future!

New Motivation

Hey Gang!

So, you've all heard me rant about trying to lose weight, and how much exercising sucks, and how much eating is awesome, and it's really been a grand time, but now it's time to get serious.

For those of you who read my most recent blog, I have a very special day coming up: only 585 more days! For those of you who didn't read it, shame on you!

Hint hint.

Well, anyways, up until now, I've pretty much been all talk. But now I have some real motivation, and I've been cracking down. Oh sure I've been running all right, but I'm still gaining weight: and not the good kind.

It all seems kind of pointless when you look at it like this.

So, if I want to look really great in that dress (which ever one it ends up being), I need to get into the real hard stuff: dieting.

Well, I thought I just trusted myself to do it right: I mean, I've done it before, right? Nope. Not right. Therefore, I needed to take action. I subscribed to MyFitnessPal, and downloaded the Ap for my iPad. I though I was eating well. . . yeah, a day in, and I knew how wrong I was. The math was all there.

2+2= Fat

So now I feel I'm on the right track. I'm still trying to get a good balance of stuff, but I end up with more things than others. . . Diet Dr. Pepper has vitamins in it, right?

Well, for extra guidance, I picked up a couple diet books. The next couple weeks I hope to read through them and give you nice people out there in computer-land a basic review of them.

The list of books are as follows:

Sounds a lot like "Eat This, Not That"

Now, I really want to lose more than 5 pounds, but I think that is a good start. It seems like a lot of "Don't eat fast food," but I hope that's not the WHOLE book. But who knows?

NEXT

 In case you can't see, it's called "Cook Yourself Thin"

Now that Sam and I live in an apartment, I've been wanting to experiment with a little bit of cooking. I have only done some really basic stuff, like various noodles, and hardboiled eggs. So a cookbook would come in handy. The cover says "Skinny Meals You Can Make in Minutes." Sounds great right?

Well I haven't read any of this one yet, but I have seen the pictures, and I have one reaction so far: Cook books are basically porn for chubby girls.

Moving on!

This one is called: The Petite Advantage Diet.

There isn't a real good reason I picked this book except that I'm pretty short. I'm the shortest one in my immediate family at 5'2" so I'm hoping this might give a few good tips based on my body type.

And FINALLY

Carrots 'N' Cake

This one is especially exciting to me because it's a lot like my blog! It's even based off of another person's diet blog, so I'm hoping that it will not only give me diet tips, but also blogging ideas! 

Also, what sealed the deal was what it said on the back "If you need a health buddy to keep you on the track, open this book" 

Well random reviewer, that's exactly what I, and most of America, need.

I think that's enough for tonight, so stay tuned for some book reviews!

What is this?! An Actual POST?!

Hey everyone. . . So I'm just gonna address my absence. I over slept, and traffic was terrible, and my stuffed cat ate my pet tarantula, so I've been a little too busy with real life to blog.

But seriously, it's been almost 3 months since my last post, and I am sorry about that. Here's a little update on what kind of shenanigans I was getting into instead of getting down to work:

-December 6: Turned 21
-December 7: Resigned from being 21 and went back to being 20 so I could have the excitement of         drinking illegally just one more time.
-December 10: Tried my hand at Directing
-December 14: Got engaged

This is what my ring looks like

-December 16: Tell my side of the family (also a one year old's Birthday party)
-December 24: Christmas Eve in Wisconsin Rapids
-December 25: Christmas Day in Sheboygan

Complete with the tradition of "Cookie Breakfast"

-December 29: Parents Meet
-January 4: Learn to fly (on stage with wires, don't be ridiculous!)
-January 5: Decide to get an apartment
-January 7: See apartment
-January 13: Open show
-January 15: Sign lease on apartment
-January 19: Actually start living in apartment
-January 20: Close show
-January 21: Audition for next show
-January 22: Spring Semester starts
-February 2: Get bed for apartment (and move in other stuff that I didn't really care about because I had been sleeping on the floor for a week)

Even this is better than the floor

-February 3 - The Present:  Move in more stuff

I know, I know, the hectic goings on of going to a 1-yr old's birthday party is no excuse for not posting for my fairly faithful readers (hey Mom and Dad!).

I did not have anything really planned to talk about today other than a basic life update and a plethora of excuses for why I've been so negligent.

Body update: I'm not sure (because of denile) but I don't think I've gained any weight (maybe only 10 lbs?). Idk what is going on with my body, but I now have a running buddy (shout out to Christen!) and we are going out 3 times a week, even with all the snow and ice.

We both fell today. I will not say how many times because falling on your butt twice is not important.

I will be posting again every Tuesday! Hope everyone comes back!

P.S. I have officially become this poor schmuck:

Well, actually, I'm more like this schmuck:

But whatever! Who's keeping count, right?

Week Twelve: New Jeans

Okay, so I got some big bad projects coming up in the nest couple days, so this is going to be relatively short.

I realize that I missed writing during the week of the most important eating holiday. I have no excuse. Let's just say, I didn't want to make any diet promises I couldn't keep.

I've still been running, but I feel like I'm gaining weight (NOT muscle weight for all you brainiacs out there thinking you're going to cheer me up with your FACTS and such. But really, not muscle weight).

AND I finally gave in and bought a new pair of pants in my current (higher D:) pants size. (15 for you nosey folks). My old fat pants are literally falling apart. They have those holes that develop in the upper-thigh area from the fat friction. BUT! These new jeans look awesome with my new boots, so it all works out.

That being said, I've been wearing a lot of yoga pants lately. I just can't be bothered with jeans.

 Yup, that's what I look like in sweats. Doesn't everyone?

But today I did have an out of body experience where I was just walking down the hallway, then, it was like I blacked out or something. When I came to again, this is what I saw:

BAM! Deliciousness.

No idea HOW that happened.

I seriously have to wrap it up, I have some seriously vicious papers to write. Boo.

Check you all next week!

Week Eleven: Run Olivia, Run!

This past week, I've been so excited to blog, and today I almost completely forgot!

I know lately I've been talking about food a lot (and the lack of it), but this week I want to talk about:

I have some exciting news! I totally have started doing Couch to 5K! I actually started a week ago, but I didn't want to post anything about it until I knew that I was going to do it more than once.

So, for many people who know me, this is going to sound odd, but I've always wanted to be a runner. I would always look out the car window and see some poor schmuck running in the intense cold/heat that this great state of Wisconsin brings us. And I would always think: maybe I'll do that.

 I could be that poor schmuck

But that's all it's ever been. Just me gazing out of car windows feeling a pleasant mixture of jealously, and happiness that I was not the person running. 

Well, as I've been getting heavier, I've been looking for a good steady exercise routine. I had been spending time on an exercise bike, but that was going nowhere (pun intended). It was getting redundant, and it was too tech-y for me. I never could find a good balance, so I didn't really push myself. It seemed pretty dumb, and I didn't have a set day and time, so I was too willy nilly about the whole thing.

I needed a change.

My friend Christen, who is also trying to get into shape, had started running. She downloaded some sort of ap, and it had been guiding her through her runs. She was really seeing results. I figured "Hey, why not? I've felt fat lately, let's try running".

 This is pretty much how I pictured it.

So I looked up some "running" aps. I found a free Couch to 5K ap, and snatched it up. I know a few people who have done Couch to 5K, and they really had results. One has even started running in marathons! 

The idea is that you slowly adjust your body to running. You run/jog 3x a week, and every week, the workouts get steadily harder. The first week, you jog for 1minute, and walk for 1:30 minutes. The second week, you jog for 1:30 minutes, then walk for 2:00 minutes etc etc. until eventually, you can run for 30 minutes (or 5K) straight without stopping.

I even tried Couch to 5K once, but I didn't have a timer, or a distance tracker, or whatever it is that crazy running people use, so I just counted to ten 6 times while running, then to ten 9 times while running. That got old fast. Plus, then counting would get stuck in my head like a bad song.

Almost as bad as this stuck in your head.

I was excited to start, but also nervous. I am really not as in shape as I used to be. Running a couple miles at my own pace wasn't too big a deal. Well, it WAS, because running kinda sucks; what with the not being able to breathe, being slow, and never quite knowing how far I had gone. But I was afraid I would quit halfway through, or that I would puke or something. Or that people would see me and be like "Why does that chubby chick even try?"

I feel like this is what I look like while running.

But it was not terrible! Many people may have seen my Facebook status from that day:

November 5

PublicFriendsFriends except AcquaintancesOnly MeCustomClose FriendsCardinal Stritch UniversitySee all lists...Lincoln HighCardinal Stritch UniversityNoodles & CompanyMcDonald'sMilwaukee, Wisconsin AreaFamilyAcquaintancesGo Back

Olivia ran 2.41 miles today, and it did not make her puke!

And it's totally true! I SO DID NOT PUKE. Because I'm a super star, and just super awesome like that.

Me

And the ap is really cool! All I have to do is open the ap, and hit START NEXT RUN. Then this voice goes "Start five minute warmup". Then I play my music and zone out. All the while, the voice (I've named him Clyde) tells me when I start jogging or stop jogging.

"Now jog for 1-Minute"

Shut up Clyde.

But it is really convenient. I've started week two, and even though it is hard, I'm really enjoying it. And if it's too hard, I just tell Clyde to stop judging me.

But I do have things I think about while I'm running that motivate me. For instance, Claire Dunphy from Modern Family racing against Phil.

Then she let him win.

Or, I think it would be really cool to be in a Color Run:

Looks right up my ally.

If you don't know, a color run is not really a race as it is just fun. The runners must wear white, and run the designated 5K. At each kilometer, a certain color is thrown at you. 

" Runner/walkers begin the 5k at the start line like a brand new pristine coloring book. By the end, they look like they fell into a Willy Wonka… tie dyed… vat of colored goodness. "

http://thecolorrun.com/about/

It just sounds like fun.

Mostly I enjoy running because it has so much potential, and it makes me feel like I have a lot of potential too.  The sky's the limit!

Also, it's free.

I'm gonna wrap it up because I have homework to do, and I have to get up nice and early to run tomorrow!

P.S. Sam and I did some "tests" and turns out my scale is a dirty rotten liar. It over-shoots by 10lbs. So this week, I came in at 177lbs. The body generally fluctuates between about 5lbs, so I'm not terribly worried about it. However, if with the running and the lack of food doesn't work, I might just throw myself off the wagon at a cheese wheel.

P.P.S. Here's a picture diagram thing of basically what Couch to 5K is: